Friday, December 17, 2010

Sprains, Waffles, and Toilet Paper Emergencies

I'm starting in right away on my prediction that 95% of my posts will involve my roommates. Yesterday was a day full of excitement, stress, laughter, minor disasters, and more laughter. Generally our room is full of hilarity and highly quotable moments, and yesterday was no exception. 

First of all, there was a snow fight out on the chapel lawn. Not a snowball fight, because apparently the snow was not the proper packing consistency for creating snowballs. I wasn't in attendance, but I heard all about it when my roommates all returned. I would have gone, but I was trying to motivate myself to write a paper. Anyway, so my roommates come back, and Mallory is limping. She got tackled in the snow fight and jacked up her ankle. It's not broken, just some sort of sprain. Nonetheless, she's limping all over the place and we basically ordered her to stay immobile the rest of the night. Mallory does not like to be immobile. But for her best interest, we insisted.

At this point, we're all hungry. Mallory then calls to me "Hey Joanna! Would you like to have waffles for dinner?" to which I reply "Sure!" Mallory then informs me that I am going to be responsible for making the waffles. This is significant. Because I don't cook. Mallory is usually the cook around here, so the idea of me making any meal is something like a joke. However, I wanted to help my poor, crippled roommate, so I agreed and starting mixing up the batter. I managed to dump a significant amount of the powdered mix on the counter, bowl, and myself, so that was the first obstacle. Secondly, apparently I'm the only one who likes my waffle batter fairly thick. Mallory and Katie both said it was too thick and that it needed more water. So here we go. Two clear examples of why I never cook. I spill things and can't make waffle batter reach the "correct" consistency. 

Anyway, waffles were eventually made, and Katie, Kelsey and I were doing our best to serve Mallory in her invalid state. First I almost put on too much butter. Next I don't put on enough peanut butter. Then the syrup needs to cover the whole waffle, but there also needs to be a "syrup jacuzzi" for dipping purposes. I thought I doled out a fairly significant amount of syrup, but more was required. After that was all settled, the rest of us began enjoying our own waffles. It was then that Mal began lamenting once more about her invalid state. Sitting with her tray of food, her leg propped up with ice and towels wrapped around it, she says this little gem: "I feel like a 300 pound woman who just sits in front of the tv, eating her tv dinner, while watching her favorite soap." Cue laughter.

In between the sprain and the waffles, another minor disaster occurred. Sitting around trying to be productive, Kelsey suddenly announces to all of us that she has to go to the bathroom. Naturally, being the obliging people we are, we think this is acceptable and allow her to go. Moments after she gets into the bathroom we suddenly hear a loud and desperate cry of "OH NO!!" As soon as I heard it, I followed suit with my own exclamation of "OH NO!!" because I knew exactly what the conflict was. 

Earlier that day, I had used the bathroom and finished off our supply of toilet paper. Being the only one in the room at the time, I decided I'd leave a friendly note simply saying "TP=Gone." I actually wrote it out before I realized this was silly, and I should just go get more toilet paper. However, instead of actually doing so, I was distracted by the act of throwing away my sticky note message, and then putting the pad of sticky notes back where it belonged. Ridiculous, but that was enough to make me forget I needed to go get toilet paper. I went about the rest of my afternoon as normal, the toilet paper issue completely, blissfully lost from memory. Until I heard that "OH NO!!" Knowing I had caused the situation, I thought it was only fitting that I be the one to correct it. As fast as I could, I ran upstairs, grabbed three rolls of toilet paper from the supply closet, and hurried back to our room. Since poor Kelsey was left stranded in the bathroom, my only option was to simply walk in and hand her a roll. Which I did. (I also stored the two extra in the cupboard before leaving. Kelsey didn't mind.) Cue more laughter.

On a related note, this is not the first toilet paper shortage we've experienced, but it was the first to leave one of us stranded.

On a completely unrelated note, tonight we got on the topic of the scary, bright blue mustang statue at the Denver Airport. It's seriously freaky. Point being, Katie supplied me with this fantastic musing: "If someone woke me up in the middle of the night and showed me that picture (see below), I'd probably scream." Sweet dreams everyone. :)


  1. I laughed throughout the whole post :D

    I'm trying to read them in order... when procrastinating :D

    do you want to check out my blog?

    Let me know what you think :D Sorry if this seems like spam :P

  2. Hey Dan! Glad it made you laugh. And I'm glad my blog has given you something to do while procrastinating. Serves the same purpose for me. Haha. I did check your blog out, and I'm following. I'm interested to see where you go with it.

    Thanks for commenting and following! :)