Friday, April 15, 2011

A Love/Hate Relationship

I have a cell phone. Not unlike most people these days. I didn't get my first cell phone until I was a freshman in high school. So I was about 14. I had been bugging my parents for one, because "everyone" was getting a cell phone. "All of my friends" had them, so naturally I needed one too.

I didn't get my phone until midway through the first semester. I didn't do much with my life other than go to school and come home, so my parents generally knew where I was at all times, and didn't really have to worry about needing to call and check in on me. A phone was not a necessity for me. Until one day...

Fate smiled upon me. I had been cast in the musical at school. The Sound of Music. I was one of about 50 nuns. Point being, I had rehearsals. Sometimes I wasn't sure what time I would be done, and since I couldn't drive yet, my mom was my primary means of transportation. Rehearsal days, she would let me take her cell phone to school so that I could call her when I was finished.

One day, I called her to tell her I was done, and when she came to pick me up, she said to me, "Joanna, we have to get you a cell phone." I couldn't believe my ears, or my luck. My mom had just uttered a magical phrase. I was elated. Practically radiating joy. So much so that, at first, I didn't notice the look of lingering horror on her face.







She then proceeded to relay to me a tale of terror that made my skin crawl.

Apparently while I was rehearsing with the other nuns, my mom had to make a trip to the grocery store for my grandma. While she was out, she realized she needed to call her to ask about some items on the list. Unfortunately for her, I had her cell phone. To make her call, she had to use a pay phone.

She proceeded to describe to me an object of terror. As I've stated before, I have a problem with germs, so anything that looks germy creates an instant anxiety response in me. As my mom is telling me her story, she's explaining the pay phone. But it wasn't any old pay phone.


It was dirty. And gross.



Disgustingly, terrifyingly filthy.



It was so filthy that my mom was disgusted enough to tell my dad that I needed a cell phone so she would never again have to use such an abomination again. I have to admit, even though the thought of such a disgusting phone creeped me out, I did chuckle a little at how horrified my mom was by the situation.



Laughter at my mom's expense aside, I did get my first cell phone shortly after this experience. It was a super lame flip phone with an obnoxious green backlit screen. No texting capabilities or anything. I was ordered only to use it to call my parents when the need arose. 

Nowadays, I'm sporting an ENV2, which I suppose is getting pretty outdated already by today's standards. Mostly though, I've found this phone to be fairly reliable. Plus, it has a full keyboard, so I can text like my life depends on it. I text way more than I make actual phone calls. In recent months however, I've been noticing a troubling occurrence. Sometimes I pick up my phone to check the time or something and find...it's turned off. I never hear it power down, the battery isn't dead, it's just...off.






This annoys me. I depend on my phone for many things: the time, basic communication skills, and serving as my alarm clock, just to name a few. So finding out that my phone likes to periodically shut itself off is not a comforting thing.

Even more recently, my phone has apparently decided to step up its game. Three times now in the past couple of months, I've gone to check my phone, found it off, tried to turn it on and received this message: "Use genuine battery. Powering off." It then proceeds to count down from ten and completely shut itself off again. It's as though my phone enjoys making a mockery of me. Or it's just evil. Either explanation makes perfect sense to me.



No matter what the cause, it's a problem. I've done nothing to cause any physical damage to my phone, so my best (serious, rational) guess is that the battery is just on its last legs. I've had the phone a few years, so it's not too ridiculous to imagine that the battery might be waving the white flag of surrender.

The first time it happened, I went to the best source I could think of, Google, and looked up the problem. The solution I found over and over was to rub the connectors on the battery with nail polish remover. Seemed like a bad idea, but being desperate, I tried it anyway. Miraculously, it worked like a charm. Naturally, the second time it happened, I once again resorted to the nail polish remover trick.

By the third time, I knew what to do. I busted out the nail polish remover, swabbed the connectors, and...nothing. It didn't work at all. Distraught, I tried it again and again. When I was still met with resistance, I resorted to the next most popular solution the internet could provide me with: sticking the battery in the freezer for an hour. Again, seemed kind of like a bad idea, but I gave it a shot anyway.

Perhaps by divine intervention, that worked too. Maybe it taught my phone that I mean business. Who knows? But, between you and me (don't tell my phone), I'm seriously considering a new phone. Ever since the iPhone came to Verizon, I've been wanting one. For now, I just have to hope my phone has learned its lesson.


36 comments:

  1. Joanna, seriously... you CRACK ME UP! To the point where my head throws back and I'm literally cackling out loud with that horse sound towards the end. You know what I'm talking about. And who the heck comes up with these home remedies? Nail polish remover, really? lol Girl, you need a new phone!

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  2. I do know what you're talking about! And thanks! :) Yeah, I'm not sure who the first person was to think "Hmm...maybe nail polish remover is a good idea..." but apparently they were pretty smart, because it did work. Hopefully sometime in the near future I can get a new phone so I don't have to rely on tricks like that! :)

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  3. I've done so many DIY repairs on my phone . . . it's like this little game we play. It tries to break down and kill itself, and I try to keep it alive. Funny post.

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  4. Thanks! I hope I don't have to do too many more of these DIY type fixes. :/

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  5. Haha, this is such funny and cleverly-put-together post! :)

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  6. You're so ridiculously crazy I adore you!

    Love the drawings!
    Great post.

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  7. I Luueevveee your posts Joanna! :D
    Lots of love from India. :)

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  8. That's the way to show that phone who's boss!

    Great job! :-D

    -Barb

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  9. hahahahaha i swear, phones can smell FEAR!!

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  10. Haha! Oh this is good stuff right here. You know what's funny? We have the same exact phone, and the same problem happens to my phone too! It just shuts off whenever it feels like - so I'm thankful you mentioned some remedies, I will definitely try the freezer trick! I want my phone to know I mean business too! :D

    Your story of how you got your first phone is awesome, had me laughing the whole time! Disgusting pay phone, good gravy lol. I got my first phone when my parents went through a tramatic experience too lol, how ironic. Only that, what happened to me was that my car got stuck in snow (at the top of a mountain, mind you), and I had to walk 8 miles down it in the middle of the night to the next house lol. My parents were freaked. And thus, the birth of my first cell phone! :D

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  11. I like the pictures with your mom in the car. She looks funny and scared at the same time

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  12. @Chels, Thanks so much! :)

    @PBB, Aww, thanks! I'm glad being crazy is a good thing sometimes! Haha.

    @Girl Next Door, Glad you liked it! Thanks for the love! :) <3

    @Barb, I'm getting good at showing my phone who's boss! lol

    @ihateeverything, My phone definitely can!

    @Optimist, I adore long comments like this! Thanks so much! Haha. Your phone story is awful! I'd be so freaked out stranded on a mountain in snow! Glad you got some tips out of this post! Good luck! Show your phone you're serious! :)

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  13. @Anonymous, Glad you liked the pictures! Thanks for the comment! :)

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  14. Hahaha this is so funny. "One of about 50 nuns." I died.

    I am jealous you got your phone at age 14. I had to wait until I was a SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL and I was just furious about that. I was seriously the ONLY GIRL in the world not to have a phone. My mom let me use hers sometimes but you just cannot have your seventeen year old love interests texting your mom's phone. So not cool.

    Anyway I was always a fan of the "free with rebate" phones that just had the basic features. However, a few months ago I upgraded to a droid and I must say my life has changed for the better. I say jump all over that iphone deal!

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  15. Yeah, I really want the iPhone. We'll see. Haha. My little sister got her first phone in either sixth or seventh grade. I was pretty jealous about that. Even though I already had a phone. lol

    There really were about 50 of us nuns. It was crazy.

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  16. That's hilarious! I have the same phone, and it has the same problems. I have been due for an upgrade since July, but I can't bring myself to do it. It still works (mostly) so I'm waiting til the last possible moment to replace it.
    I too am considering the iphone now that it's at Verizon... but it scares me a little ;)

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  17. And I played a nun in the Sound of Music too :)

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  18. hahaha oh god, your post crack me up. my computer froze for a sec right when i was about to find out the huge cause of your mom's distress and I was dying! the suspense was killing me!

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  19. @Laena, Yeah I'm sure I'll be overwhelmed if I ever actually do go for the iPhone. lol. And yay Sound of Music nuns! Haha.

    @Julie, Glad your computer unfroze so you weren't left in suspense! :)

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  20. your story bring up my memory,i clash with my X-girlfriend through the payphone!!

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  21. hahaha your cell phone experience is absolutely hilarious!! I love the pictures that went with it I was literally laughing out loud :D

    My friends dont ever trust me when I say to call or text my phone anymore because my phone is either lost, broken, out of service, or I have had to change plans and get a new number LOL and to my dismay one out of those four reasonings seem to happen frequently haha, have a great day! Cant wait to read more of your posts!

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  22. Thats a really funny story. I liked the picture of your mom's face. It made me lol!

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  23. I randomly came across this and found it hillarious! Absolutely love all the animations :)

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  24. I love that I was found randomly! Suits my blog well I think. :) Thanks for the comment! Glad you enjoyed it!

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  25. LOL!! My daughter is your age Joanna and this story is so close to the story of why I got her a cell phone just about the same time you got yours. Not only are pay phones totally gross but half the time you find them destroyed. Funniest thing, when I told my husband that our daughter needed to have a cell in case of an emergency he didn't quite agree. Said there were plenty of pay phones until the one day he left his cell at home and needed to make a call. He drove to three pay phones all broken! Yes, now he knows I was right! If you get an iPhone you will love love love it! :) Anyway, thanks for following me. I will be following you as well! I enjoyed my visit.

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  26. AHAHA, yes the pictures are so awesome.

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  27. @TracyRobin, It's funny that there are others out there who can thank a pay phone for their first cell phone! Thanks so much for the comment, and I'm glad you enjoyed your visit! :)

    @Chelsea, Thanks! Glad you like the pictures! I have fun drawing them. :)

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  28. Great blog. Love the cartoon characterization. Good luck post graduation...Keep blogging and let us know which path you choose...Regards Mike

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  29. Thanks, Mike! I appreciate it!

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  30. You are a fun writer and make me laugh. I like the way you use cartoons too.

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  31. Thanks, DG! Glad I can make you laugh. That's nice to know. :)

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  32. This just made me laugh a stupid amount. Thank you! =) x

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  33. You are lucky enough as u got it earlier..I got it just 3 years back...n hav changed 3 cells from then.. ok..ur picture r amazing.. are they done by any professional or you ?

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  34. @Introvert, thanks! Glad you thought so! :)

    @nikkijoy, You're very welcome! Thanks for the comment!

    @pickled_tongue, I draw all the pictures myself. Glad you like them! :)

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  35. My last phone went crazy aswell... it decided to only receive about a third of my text messages completely randomly.. but somehow they managed to be the most important ones so it got me into lots of trouble.. I'm convinced theyre turning evil (like in I Robot) :P

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