Oh...Hey, Guys...Enjoy Some Random Shenanigans

So...I'm slacking again. And this is weird, I log in, check my stats, and even though I haven't posted in OVER A MONTH!! my stats for September are like...whoah high. What up with that, people? When I DO post a few things in a month, no one reads. When I DON'T post, everyone and their brother decides to look at my blog.

Not that I'm complaining. I like views. I just wish they'd be a little more consistent. But now who's the pot calling the kettle black? Because I'm sure you're reading this thinking "Well jeeze, Joanna. We'd like YOU to be a little more consistent with your posting!" I got it. Enough with the accusing stares. I'll TRY. I promise.

Also, fun fact...That adorable little drawing up there of me looking confused is titled "Huh?" and while adding it to this post, I realized I have another drawing simply called "Huh." Two different emotions, clarified by a simple changing of punctuation. The other fun fact..."Huh." is wayyyyy uglier than "Huh?" It's an oldie. Want proof? Here.

That's "Huh." Scary, innit? I'm pleased to see my Paintbrush drawing skills have improved. Slightly. Also, I clearly do take my actual appearance into consideration when drawing myself. Since these drawings are so lacking in other details, I guess I figure the least I can do is get my hair somewhat realistic looking. So, as you can all see from the difference from "Huh." to "Huh?" I haven't cut my hair in a while. It's getting crazy long, and I don't know what to do with it. It's a serious dilemma. If I cut it, I'll constantly be telling people "Gee...I liked my hair long." But if I don't cut it, I'll just keep saying "I should probably get a haircut." Wow. #firstworldpains, anyone? And no, I will not be regularly hashtagging things in my posts from now on. Hashtags have their place, on Twitter, but not elsewhere, thank you very much.

So...this post is starting to feel like a whole lot of nothing going on, and me just blabbering about whatever the heck pops into my head. Is anyone even still reading...?

Well...for anyone still around...

Jeeze...I'd like to apologize. I feel like this post is nonsense. I don't know what this hyper stuff is. I'm not really sure why I'm even publishing it, but...maybe everyone and their brother will come back and get a giggle out of it or something. Here's hoping my next post is a little more cohesive and a little less crazy. Unless you people like reading my crazy stuff. In which case...maybe my next post will be an experiment in writing a post before I fall asleep but after I've taken a sleeping pill. THAT would certainly make for an interesting post. And terrible drawings. Even more terrible than normal.

We'll see I suppose...

Attempting To Animate My Life. Or At Least My Blog.

So, tonight my friend Aysha requested/demanded politely that I do a Christmas blog, and that it include paint pictures. I thought to myself "Yeah, of course. A Christmas blog should be simple enough. Time with family always provides golden material for funny stories." My next thought was "Paint pictures...Sure! I can handle that." So, I downloaded Paintbrush and started playing around. Drawing circles and smiley faces. Simple.

At this point I'm thinking "Yeah! I'm Master of Paintbrush! I can draw smiley faces and circles!" Then I realized making pictures to go along with what I write might need to be a little more involved than circles and smiles. Smiley faces are awesome, and they totally can capture the emotion of "I'm two dimensionally happy!" but they don't quite do justice to emotions more complex than than.

On a completely unrelated side-note, my sister and I just spent about 10 minutes throwing Starburst® wrappers at one another. (Mature, I know.) Totally nailed her square in the center of the nose with one. Bullseye style. I was proud of my achievement. Because I was so happy about that, I'll try to relate it to the topic of the post and include a happy face that I drew.

Yup, drew this one all by myself. If I had a proud face, I'd insert that too.

Anyway, so after mastering the smiley face, I figured I should probably start practicing drawing people. Or something that might resemble a person anyway. Art has never been my strong suit. At all. In sixth grade art class, we had to make something out of clay that was a combination of an animal and a fruit or vegetable. My creation? A little gem I called The Porcupumpkin. Yup. My little sixth grade genius mind decided to combine a porcupine and a pumpkin. Almost solely for the fact that a pumpkin was one of the roundest fruits or veggies I could think of at the time, and round was basically equivalent to simple in my mind. Pretty much I rolled out a ball of clay for the body, blobbed out a goofy looking head, slapped some shady legs on it, and flattened out something that looked a heck of a lot more like a beaver tail than a porcupine tail. (Wait...as I write this, I'm trying to remember if porcupines even have tails...Oh. Yup. Google images saved the day. They do. Should have remembered that on my own, but I haven't really had reason to think about porcupines lately. Or for several years for that matter.)

Anywho, the thing is atrocious. First of all, the body is orange obviously. Pumpkin. I hate the color orange. No offense to anyone whose favorite color might be orange. But this orange was a special brand of ugly. Next, the legs, head, and tail are brown. Like...poop brown. So the whole thing is just a bad color combination. To top it all off, I stuck a little stupid looking stem on top of the body. It's really just a mess. Funniest thing is, I was proud of that mutant. So I gave it to my dad. To this day, it's still sitting in his office at work, proudly declaring its message to the world: "Joanna has no future in the art industry!" Although it does make me happy that my dad really seems to love that thing for whatever reason. He recently moved from one office to another, and in the move, Porcupumpkin was injured. Its tail broke off. My dad was seriously concerned it would get lost, so he made sure my mom put the body and tail in a cup and took it home so she could glue it back on. Once repaired, Porcupumpkin returned to the office. Maybe one day I'll go to my dad's office and take a picture of it so I can share the horror/joy with you all.

That was a long story to explain just how bad my art skills have always been. So it really came as no surprise to me when I started trying to draw people on Paintbrush and they turned out pretty horrifyingly bad. Like...deformed. Disproportional and just...creepy. I'm going to keep practicing so that maybe when I get around to that Christmas blog I'll have something semi-decent to show, but for now, here you go. (Especially you, Aysha. This is my Christmas Eve gift to you.) This is a picture of my sister and I. I've labeled the figures for you so you can tell who is who. You'll need the labels, because neither of them resemble us at all. Also, it's clear I put more effort into "me." By the time I got to "Laura" I was no longer concerned with "proper" limbs and such. Enjoy.